Loving Kindness Meditation is an awareness meditation that invokes feelings of love and benevolence toward the practitioner, and the world. Metta Meditation as it is called is a Buddhist meditation that calls for compassion from within that in time radiates out to the world. 

As a divorce coach and spiritual seeker I share this type of meditation practice with my clients in addition to the practices of affirmation and gratitude. When moving through the challenges of divorce, a difficult and often negative process, one of the unfortunate side effects is low self esteem, and a general state of uncertainty about how life is moving forward? 

There is no simple answer for any of these questions. As a divorce coach my work begins by exploring the internal narrative of my clients. We begin by paying close and mindful attention to the words we use as we refer to ourselves and the challenges we may be experiencing. Releasing shame, and inviting in acceptance from what is. Acceptance goes hand in hand with compassion and loving kindness. Extending kindness toward yourself and others allows for examination without judgment. Divorce is a process filled with judgment and shame. It asks for the release of dreams, expectations and attachments to the past, what was, and what no longer is. And then there is the legal process, the business of divorce to boot. 

Having gone through the process of divorce myself and coaching people through it, I know first hand as well as by observation how hard it is to make a decision that has lasting impact through the lens of shame, fear and judgment. No rational and level headed decision is made that way. So how can you ask yourself to make a decision about the state of your finances out of fear of loss, not having enough or the future that we have no say or control over? 

Being mindful and compassionate does not mean being foolish. It does not mean that you allow yourself to be pushed over or settle for something that you do not deserve. Compassion starts from within, and when you can exercise compassion toward yourself, you can reduce judgment for yourself and others. This way of thinking and relating in the world allows for more clarity, less reactivity and more proactive clear action. It seems counterintuitive as compassion communicates lack of action, but the opposite is true is true as well – acting out of self compassion can show itself in motivation, action and protection.